7 common mistakes we make with our teens

Adolescence seems to be the time most feared by all parents por the amount of challenges it represents: physical and emotional changes that begin to determine the transformation of our children into the adults they will become.

It seems that most parents take for granted that it will be a complicated and warlike stage, we try to do the best but invariably hope for the worst…. And even if we don't want to, we make some mistakes. We make a list with the 7 common mistakes we make with our teens.

Next, we point out some of the most common mistakes many parents make with our teens, hoping it can help them stay on track and enjoy their children more.

1. Expect the worst: Remember that, if you expect this to be the worst stage in your relationship with your child, it probably will be (Children conform to what we expect of them because in some way we transmit it to them). Focus on the positive and hope for the best.

2. Wanting to fulfill dreams that you did not fulfill: It is common for some parents to fervently want their children to achieve goals or do things that they for some reason would have liked to achieve. Remember that your child is not you, he will not necessarily share your tastes or projects that may seem fascinating, from a sports or artistic activity to choosing a career. You can guide him, try to infect him with your enthusiasm and encourage him to try, but then he will be the one who makes the decisions and you must respect them.

3. Always want to be in control: Many parents feel that the rules must be respected under all circumstances and that if they give in at some point they will lose control; on the contrary, when the children reach a certain age it is necessary to negotiate to get the best out of them. Negotiate those things that are possible, such as some permission or some rule, if your child gives you logical arguments and this does not compromise his well-being.

If you show him that you are capable of moving your position, he will respond in most cases just as he has told you and you will keep the relationship positive. If, on the other hand, you are always intransigent, he will surely resent it and find ways to get away with it without you knowing.

4. Be invasive: It is true that adolescents are exposed to many potentially dangerous situations and that it is necessary to be around to protect them; However, there are parents who go overboard and are very invasive, they want to accompany them all the time, they put them in complicated situations by questioning their friends, they check their cell phones and their things continuously, they subject them to long interrogations about everything they did in the day, etc .; Being close and available for when they need us is important, but let's not drown them with our protection because we can generate negative feelings and emotions in them that affect their personality and the way they relate to us.

5. Criticize your friends: When their children's friends do not meet their expectations, there are parents who criticize them all the time and force them to distance themselves from some of them without having a really determining cause for it. As parents we must try to understand what our children find in each of their friends and respect their choices, as long as there is no truly clear cause to prohibit them.

On the other hand, if we continually criticize their friends, we will likely severely limit communication with our children.

6. Engage in strong discussions: When many parents start scolding their children and they answer them in a not very submissive way (something very common in adolescents), they get hooked and begin to raise the tone until the discussion reaches great dimensions; In such a situation the children will not be receptive to anything they hear, on the contrary, they will probably be more rebellious or in the best of cases indifferent.

The ideal is to wait until we feel calmer to talk to them without yelling and make clear the reason for the scolding and what we expect from them the next time. If we manage to convey this idea without yelling or threatening, our children will be more accessible and the message will arrive much more effectively.

7. Do not accept your children as they are:Sometimes many parents are very critical of their children and cannot accept them; They are constantly criticized for the way they speak, dress, comb their hair, etc; We must learn to respect our children as they are, not as we would like them to be. It is true that we must be there to guide them, but without wanting to change their essence. Our love and our acceptance are essential to your security and self-esteem.

There are no magic formulas but there are many ways to achieve a greater connection and closeness with our teenage children and to be able to enjoy with them this wonderful stage in which they begin to discover their place in the world.

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Video: 7 STYLE MISTAKES EVERY TEEN MAKES. Teen Fashion 2019. Alex Costa (December 2021).